| Nov. 7th, 2004 @ 12:20 am (no subject) |
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Current Mood:  bored
ok.. wow, i honestly have no idea why im doing this... maybe because im bored outta my mind right now and i realli realli need to go to sleep but i cant because im not even close to being tired. i just read my girlfriend's journal thing, and it bothered me at times to read wat was in there... i mean, it tells me what she realli is or was thinking at times.. it tells me her true thoughts on things... i mean.. she wouldnt tell me that she was on aim for a long time.. why? because she would probably think i would ask her who she was talkin to, and oersonally i kno she talks to a bunch of guys on aim... so then she might tell me, and ill get all defensive.. and it would end up in an argument of how "i dont trust her" or w/e... i dunno... maybe this thing will somehow help me understand what goes on in her mind.. and btw, whoever reads this... if u think it sounds like im just babbling about bullshit.. i realli am.. i have no idea wat i am gonna b talkin about half the time.. so sry if u read this and uyr like wtf... im like wtf too so its ok....
well, since this is my first entry.. i guess ill talk about my philosophy on shit... ~~~>>
ok, the meaning of life is simple... ill start on how every life shoud go.. ~> ur born.. u learn to talk, u learn to walk, u learn to shit and piss in places that are not you, then ur off to school, u learn to read and write, then comes math, next thing u kno ur reading shsit that bores the living hell outta u and u wish your school burned to the ground, now ur in college, i dont give a fuk wat u r studying for, ur in it ok, u get ur degrees, yay, then u go to work... u r now officially a slave, but u dont think so, u think o ok, im working to make me happy, to earn money... but what u dotn realize, is that the money u earn... gets spent... then it all goes back to where it started.. into the pcoket of the government...nuthin u can do sorry... but so anyway, u get money, u fond sumone u love... u spend ur money on that person... u get married and move in together, then u mae love and bam... u got kids ont the way... after u pop a few kin out and u retire from ur job then wat? u have accomplished life's objectives.... live and pro-create.
ok time for more of my philosphies...~> here's a shitty one... as soon as you are born... u alredy begin to die. wow... how fucking depressing... it would be nice to stay the same age for the rest of your life huh? 21.. perfect age... u can do w/e the fuck u want... yet ur still in perfect health... well too bad life doesnt work that way... suck it up and keep on dying... at least have fun on ur way.. dont think of it as dying.... think of it as living as hard as u can until the end.. and when ur end comes... go out with a bang.. jus tnot like one of those fuicking cocksucking ragheads.... yea u heard me u fuckign terrorists.... if ur gonna go strap a bomb on and fucking do it in the desert... well ok.. in the desert where there are no jews... =] love those jews... stay the fuck outta isreal u camel fuckers... go live in ur caves and blow urselves up... kill urselves.. save us the ammunition... douchebags...
wow... if ur still reading this then u must be as bored as i am.. i honestly could go on and on with this... its only like 1230am... i could b up all night.... goin fishing tomorro.. no work so who gives a fuk about sleep right? =] right.....
you kno... i realli realli love my girlfriend... ashley... wow.. its like, amazing how feelings can mess with ur head sooo much! i rememebr the first time i met her, i was at rayal aplms, which is a movie theatre (aaaaaaaa fuck my foots asleep...) and i saw her sitting on a little couch by the entrance... the one by the bathrooms and the consetion stand towards the left of the theatre as u enter it... and i was walking with these two guys who were my best friends at the time... and i saw her and i was in aw... i actually said whoa.. that chick is hot and my friend was like dude that traci's little sister... and i didnt beleive him at first because i knew traci and didnt even kno she had a sister... so i ended up talking to traci and telling her i thought her sister was realli hot and she handed the p[hone to her... and i can honeslt say i dotn remember the whole convo, but i do remember... "its all gravy baby... *snort snort*" i heard this girl snort over the phone to me after the corniest line in the world... and i didnt care..... when i thought about her i would get dizzy, almost like a buzz.... but better... no hangover =] so a lil while later i got the balls to go over and we went swimming... i remember playing volleyball in the pool with her...i flirted by pushing her away and she would always swim back... but now if i pushed her away, she would pout and stay away... wow, got a tear thinking about it... our relationship has realli changed.... alot... not nessecarily for the better... but def. not for the worse... she used to laugh at everything i woudl say... she would caress my arm when i sat next to her, she even had a diffrent look in her eyes wehen she stared at me, its was a look with hers eyes glistening as if she was filled with joy that i was with her, not that glazed happiniess in her eyes are gone, she only stars at me if i do or say sumthign wrong... as if disappointed in me.... she caresses my arm on occasions, but when she does she makes it seem as though its a chore... as if she realli doesnt want to... dotn get me wrong, i still ove her more than anything, and she obviously still loves me, but its as if the spark is gone, already = / i hear abouyt that happening in marriages, but after about a yr and a half, isnt that a little early? i kno she's still a child, and i dont want her to "change" for me... i love her how she is, and i dont want her to become and act more of an adult, but just have a more mature mentality... one day it will come to her, and ill be with her waiting... if youre reading this ashley... i love you baby and nothing can change that.. unless u cheat on me.. then we're done and ur boy will have alot of parts that will need to be sewn back on... but first rmoved... by a proctologist... unless its a girl.. then im sure we could coem to some sort of compromise =] lol love you=]
well this was long, and i only got to a couple philospohies =[ how sad... well life goes and so will my entries.. . happy reading....
~josh~ |
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